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Thursday, March 21, 2019

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol 8 - The Kindred (1987)

Two!  Two in a row!  

So last week, I wrote about the awesomeness that is I Drink Your Blood (1971).  It was definitely a fun time but in a sleazy, exploitative way. This week, we dipped out toes into the 1980’s and checked out a nasty little flick called The Kindred (1987).  I didn’t expect much but the poster (once again) was just awesome. From that alone, I was thinking that this probably had something to do with aliens.

Imagine my surprise when this turned out to be something entirely different and my favorite of all of the movies we’ve watched so far! Sure, it’s got some plot holes and yeah, it’s got issues with dialogue, etc. but despite all that, this movie is a ton of fun!

The Kindred follows a young research scientist who goes back to his childhood home to collect his mother’s notes and disassemble her laboratory. You see, researching runs in the family and in this case, his mother was working with a substance found in marine life called “hemocynan”. Apparently it’s very toxic but also has properties which seem to be able to offer some benefit to society (even though this is never fully explained).

What his mother has really done though is create a human, squid monster hybrid and boy is it pissed off!  What makes this better is that there is another scientist who was also researching in the same field. He’s evil and has his own menagerie of mutants kept in a cellar.  

Obviously, if you do the math (2 mad scientists + pissed off mutants + tentacles + unassuming research scientists + a bit of Lovecraftian horror) you end up with a real winner!  The effects are solid and full of slimy, gross, tentacally goodness!

But wait!  What do the girls give it?  

The “Not-So-Old” Movie Rubric:  The Kindred (1987)

  1. Someone being related:  +2
  2. A baby in the movie: +1
  3. A reptile in the movie:  0
  4. Synthesizer musical score:  0
  5. A legitimate plot:  +1
  6. Decent acting:  +0.5
  7. Clueless female character:  0
  8. Story progresses:  +1
  9. Educational short:  -2
  10. Expert in a ridiculous field: +1
  11. Sexist joke or comment:  0
  12. Love story:  0
  13. Music is not repetitive:  -1
  14. Shoulder pads/Flashdance fashion:  +1
  15. Neon: 0
  16. Crimped Hair:  0
  17. Is actually scary:  +0.5

Total:  5

Karen did say that she liked this one.  It was just scary and crazy enough that it felt original to her.  Lil was more bummed at the lack of 80’s crimped hair and neon, but did say it wasn’t horrible.

That sounds like an endorsement to me!  You can check out the trailer for The Kindred here:

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