Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 13 - The 27th Day

One thing about going back and looking at old horror movies is that every now and then, you get bad information.  For instance, this was recommended via a website article on obscure horror movies.  It was a listicle of 10 or 15 films they recommended you see.  This is not a horror film. This is a sci-fi film.  That said, we still watched it and were pleasantly surprised at some of it. 

The premise is interesting.  Aliens abduct people from different countries and give them each a special device that has three radioactive weapons in capsule form.  Only the abductees can open the case, but once the case is open, anyone could set off the weapons.  To use the weapon, you simply speak the latitude and longitude and press the button.  Then all human life (only human life) within 1,000 miles of that location will disappear. 

Why would aliens do this?  Well their planet is dying but they are a peaceful bunch.  They won't invade but if humans can't overcome their warlike nature and happen to blow each other up, then the aliens can move right in. Great plan, right?  Here's the next catch.  If everyone can hold out for 27 days then the weapons become unusable.

All the abductees are sent back and then the aliens do something completely unexpected.  They make an announcement to everyone on Earth about what they've done and name the people who have the weapons.  This sends all the governments of the world scrambling to find the people and gain access to the devices.  

Now, that does sound like a decent (if overly complicated) plot.  It's not actually that bad either.  It's just slow at times.  The ending is quite a surprise and ends up being a great example of Hollywood playing up the Cold War in these films.  Here's what the girls thought.  


The 27th Day Scoresheet

Was it ever night time?  -1
Did it focus on any other day? - 1
Was there Tuna Rarebit?   0 
Were there aliens? +1
Bonus - did the aliens speak English? +1
Was there atomic stuff? + 2
Was there an educational short? 0
Were there fancy hats? 0
Did anyone slide over from the passenger seat to the driver seat of the car? 0
Was there a housewife? 0
Was there a threat of the world ending?  +1
Were there more than three people who smoked? +1
Was it set in the arctic, a desert or swamp?
Was there a decent plot that progressed? +1

Total - 5

The 27th Day can be found on YouTube.  Here's the link!

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 12 - The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues

So this week's movie was a total mystery.  I don't even remember how I found out about this one but here we were about to fire it up on a Sunday night and Karen and Lil were trying to get an idea of what their criteria for the list would be.  We looked at all the clues we could pull from the title and the poster art, then came up with something we figured would yield some results.

For instance, if you're watching any horror or sci-fi movie from the 1950's then you can probably bank on there being some talk about atomic radiation.  Also, it's a general rule of thumb that in every big bug movie someone will put on an educational short film to explain what's happening (a favorite of Karen's and why it exists on every list she makes for these).  So after some debate, we hit play and settled in to one of the worst but funny movies I've seen in a while.  I'm not sure I can recommend it.  At the same time, I kind of want to see it again.

So there's this town on the California coast where sailors/fishermen are being killed by something.  Our hero looks like a walking ad for hair oil and nicotine.  He happens to be a doctor who's published papers on the effects of atomic radiation on marine life.  He's here to see a local scientist who may also be doing experiments on this topic.  Let's just say that there is intrigue and red communists everywhere in this flick... Well, sort of.  I mean, there are some kind of shadowy agents who we can assume are communists and there's a lot of double crossing and spying happening which should be intriguing but is really just slow.

There is a "Phantom" of sorts. It's a mutated something or other that looks like that lizard guy from Star Trek only with bigger teeth and a ridge on his head.  He's guarding a uranium deposit that everyone's trying to find the location of.  Those that do, even by accident, get killed by the creature pretty quickly.

So, how did the girls do in their guessing and scoring?

The Phantom from 10,000 Leagues Scoresheet!

Was there a Phantom? +1
Was there an Opera? 0
Were there submarines? -1
Was there atomic stuff? +2
Was there an educational short?  -2
Were there commies?  0
Was there military might on display? 0
Were there octopus or squid? 0
Was there a "man meeting"? 0
Was anyone sea sick?  0
Was there a scene where a character mansplained to a female? 0
Was there a decent plot?  0.5

Total:  0.5

Yeah, it's pretty bad.  Not quite funny/bad enough for me to recommend to anyone, but I'll probably catch it again at some point.  You can find the complete film on YouTube if you're interested.  Here's the link!

Next week, we'll be checking out a sci-fi film with a great premise.  See you then!

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 11 - The Alligator People (1959)

There are plenty of cheaply made horror movies out there that I haven't seen. With the boom in the genre that happened in the 1940's and 50's, bottom of the barrel companies came out of the woodwork to cash in on the craze.

The Alligator People (1959) can easily be considered one of those. That said, there are a few actors out there who I strive to find anything they've done. Lon Chaney Jr. happens to be one of those. I knew that this film came late in his career and that he wasn't in the best shape both as a human being and an actor. At this stage in his career, Chaney reportedly was almost impossible to work with after lunch due to an epic alcohol issue.

Still, he's great in most of these types of films so it had to go on this list. I knew to expect a crappy plot, cheesy effects and questionable acting. I was not disappointed on most levels. That said, Chaney's worth watching and the plot is a lot of fun even if it is horrible.

Basically, this movie comes off as a southern gothic tragedy except with alligator people.

The story begins with a woman going under hypnosis to recover a lost memory. The story that unfolds includes her disappearing fiance, an old plantation in Louisiana, experiments with atomic isotopes and yes... Alligator/human hybrids that are hilarious!

Don't take my word for it though. Karen and Lil also loved this one. They decided to keep separate lists this time but hey, the results speak for themselves!

The Alligator People Rubric

Lil's

Are there alligators? +5

Are there people? +5

Are there actually alligator people? +100

Lil's total: 110

Karen's

Were there educational shorts? 1

Were there atomic references? 2

Was there a lady science assitant? 1

Were there fancy hats? 0

Was there a decent plot? 2

Was there nonrepetitive music? 1

Was there a tiny pony? 0

Was there a love interest? 2

Was there an expert in a weird science field? 1

Was there an expedition? 0

Karen's Total: 10

For those of you who haven't been following this arbitrary rating system, those are two HUGE scores!

Another great thing about this movie is the overall lesson it tries to teach. That lesson is simply to repress anything unpleasant. Seriously.

Great 1950's thinking!

Anyway, The Alligator People is a fun time if you're into this sort of thing. At the very least, you'll have a good time watching the actors (yes, the actual actors) running near, over and practically on top of live alligators. It's not as exciting as watching Roar!, but it's still pretty funny. You can stream The Alligator People in its entirety (and 100% free) on YouTube.

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 10 - Doctor X (1931)

This week we’re looking at another film that I’d seen stills from in countless film guides and monster magazines.  Doctor X stars Lionel Atwill (a man who was a monster in his own way in real life). I had no idea what to expect here and therefore neither did the girls.  However we were pleasantly surprised, at least for the first half.

Doctor X plays out like a whodunnit.  There is a serial murderer on the loose who kills during the full moon.  The police have deduced that the killer must be one of the doctors in a nearby institute because the killings seem to be in close proximity.  They approach Doctor Xavier (Doctor X) about it and threaten to open an investigation. Instead, he convinces them to let him conduct his own experiment to find the killer.  

A couple of cool things to note about this one.  If you see a color print like we did, then you’re looking at one of the earliest examples of Technicolor.  Color prints were distributed to big markets while black and white prints went to smaller cities due to the cost of reproduction.  In fact, the color version was thought to be lost after 1948, when Technicolor got rid of all their old reels of this early process.  Thirty years later, a print was found in the private collection of Jack L. Warner and the DVD we watched was a transfer from that print.

Also, this is what is called a Pre-Code film, meaning that you’ll see some “morally questionable” material.  In this case, cannibalism, murder and even a brothel. Finally, you also get Fay Wray (King Kong) playing Doctor X’s daughter and to be honest, she’s always fun to watch.

The bad thing about the film is just that it goes on a little too long with no killing.  It’s a lot of investigation and some light-hearted comedy here and there with only two glimpses of the killer before the climax.  To be perfectly honest, there was a point in the middle of the film where I forgot there was even a killer still on the loose!

Still it’s a fun movie and if you’re a fan of mad scientist laboratories, this one has the most amazing one I’ve ever seen.

So what did the girls’ think?

The Old Movie Rubric - Doctor X (1932)

1. It has a doctor: +1

2. It has a valid plot:  +1

3. It has acceptable acting:  +1

4. It has an educational short:  -2

5. Daytime for nighttime filming:  0

6. Sexist jokes:  0

7. Helpless female:  +1

8. Female science assistant:  0

9. Fancy hat (two additional points if a millenary is in the film):  +0.5

10. Dry erase pens that don’t run out of ink while scoring the film:  -1

11. Someone gets into the passenger side of the car and slides over to the driver’s side:  0

12. Ridiculous laboratory:  +3

13. Maniacal laugh: +1

14. Live animals used as props:  0

Total Score:  5.5

So yeah, a middling score.  When I asked why, they agreed with me that it's just a little too long.  

However, they both loved the first half and were very, very impressed by the size of the laboratory.  Seriously, watch it just for that. I know size isn’t supposed to matter but…

See you next week!

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 9 - The Brain Eaters (1958)

This week’s film came with a warning up front.  You see, the very first image on the screen was this logo:

For those who watch old sci-fi and horror films, American International Pictures (AIP) means one thing.  Cheap. Founded by Samuel Z. Arkoff and James Nicholson, AIP specialized in low-budget movies aimed at grabbing the teen audiences who were suddenly spending money at drive-in’s and theaters.  Generally, if you see the AIP logo, you know you won’t be watching the best that cinema has to offer.

This movie was definitely a bottom of the barrel experience.  If I had to describe it in a sentence, I’d say it is a low-rent version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. A young couple finds what looks like  a nose cone from a rocket sticking out of the ground. Scientists converge on it to figure out what it is but no matter what they try, they can’t break into it.  

While they’re looking for answers as to what it is and where it came from, people start succumbing to these small fluke-like parasites that attach to the back of your neck and make you do their bidding.  Their goal is to take over the world and “spread peace” by making everyone have a hive mind.

See?  It’s just like Invasion of the Body Snatchers only there’s slugs instead of plant pods.  

The problem here isn’t just the story though.  The acting is horrible. The direction is poor.  The soundtrack is crappy. Even the dialogue is awful.  Unfortunately, it’s not so bad it’s good.

However, at one point a “scientist” says that if you cut a snake in two, the pieces will slither off their separate ways.  I laughed out loud at that one.

What did the girls’ think?  

The Old Movie Rubric - The Brain Eaters (1958)

1. Brains were involved:  -0.5

2. Brains were eaten:  -0.5

3. There is an expert in an obscure scientific field:  +1

4. It has a legitimate plot:  +0.5

5. It has an educational short:  +1

6. It has decent acting:  0

7. It has sexist jokes:  0

8. It uses animals as props:  0

9. It uses daytime for nighttime filming:  0

10. There are very proper hats:  +0.5

11. There is a female scientist:  +0.5 (she was an assistant)

12. There is repeat footage:  0

13. There is a cutesy couple:  0 (they weren’t cutesy)

14. BONUS:  someone refers to the scientists as “You science boys”:  +1

Total Score:  3.5

That’s officially the lowest score of any film since we started keeping track.  

Stay away from this one unless you’re a masochist. Next week, we'll check out an old one starring Lionel Atwill. Hope you're prepared for... Doctor X!

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol 8 - The Kindred (1987)

Two!  Two in a row!  

So last week, I wrote about the awesomeness that is I Drink Your Blood (1971).  It was definitely a fun time but in a sleazy, exploitative way. This week, we dipped out toes into the 1980’s and checked out a nasty little flick called The Kindred (1987).  I didn’t expect much but the poster (once again) was just awesome. From that alone, I was thinking that this probably had something to do with aliens.

Imagine my surprise when this turned out to be something entirely different and my favorite of all of the movies we’ve watched so far! Sure, it’s got some plot holes and yeah, it’s got issues with dialogue, etc. but despite all that, this movie is a ton of fun!

The Kindred follows a young research scientist who goes back to his childhood home to collect his mother’s notes and disassemble her laboratory. You see, researching runs in the family and in this case, his mother was working with a substance found in marine life called “hemocynan”. Apparently it’s very toxic but also has properties which seem to be able to offer some benefit to society (even though this is never fully explained).

What his mother has really done though is create a human, squid monster hybrid and boy is it pissed off!  What makes this better is that there is another scientist who was also researching in the same field. He’s evil and has his own menagerie of mutants kept in a cellar.  

Obviously, if you do the math (2 mad scientists + pissed off mutants + tentacles + unassuming research scientists + a bit of Lovecraftian horror) you end up with a real winner!  The effects are solid and full of slimy, gross, tentacally goodness!

But wait!  What do the girls give it?  

The “Not-So-Old” Movie Rubric:  The Kindred (1987)

1. Someone being related:  +2
2. A baby in the movie: +1
3. A reptile in the movie:  0
4. Synthesizer musical score:  0
5. A legitimate plot:  +1
6. Decent acting:  +0.5
7. Clueless female character:  0
8. Story progresses:  +1
9. Educational short:  -2
10. Expert in a ridiculous field: +1
11. Sexist joke or comment:  0
12. Love story:  0
13. Music is not repetitive:  -1
14. Shoulder pads/Flashdance fashion:  +1
15. Neon: 0
16. Crimped Hair:  0
17. Is actually scary:  +0.5

Total:  5

Karen did say that she liked this one.  It was just scary and crazy enough that it felt original to her.  Lil was more bummed at the lack of 80’s crimped hair and neon, but did say it wasn’t horrible.

That sounds like an endorsement to me!  You can check out the trailer for The Kindred here:

Forgotten Horror Gems Vol. 7 - I Drink Your Blood (1971)

We are seven films into a list of movies that I have somehow managed to miss over my 50 years on this planet.  We've seen some okay ones and some terrible ones, but I have to tell you that nothing prepared me for the absolute awesomeness of this one.

I Drink Your Blood (1971) is exploitation horror at its finest.  We'll get to that in a moment.  First, I have to tell you that Lilith sat this one out.  To be perfectly frank, I know she's not a fan of gore so Karen and I watched it while she was out of the house.  That said, the first scene alone was almost enough for us to wait for her to get back.  There is nothing I'd love to hear more than a 16-year-old making snarky comments about a bunch of naked hippy devil worshipers reciting dialogue so pretentious that suppressing giggles was nigh impossible.

That said, I took the responsible adult route and Karen and I soldiered on alone.

So, what makes this movie so good?  Let me count the ways!

The story involves a bunch of Satan worshipers who descend on a small town.  First, they brutalize a local teen girl.  When her grandfather goes to get revenge, they beat him up and force feed him acid.  Now, here's where you expect some Billy Jack character to come in and kick ass, right? 

Wrong!  Instead, a twelve-year-old boy, the grandson of the man who got dosed, decides to take  revenge.  He kills a rabid dog and then extracts blood from the animal and puts it in the Satan worshipers' food.  

They, of course, go insane and start killing each other and anyone else they come across.  Body parts are lopped off, blood flies everywhere, organs fall out of wounds... it's just awesome!  Soon the sickness begins to spread beyond the devil cult and into the people of the surrounding area.

Why is this "exploitation"?  Well, this movie rode into theaters as the Manson murder trial had captured American imaginations.  Nothing was scarier than hippies.  Sure they'd smile to your face and talk about peace and love, but then they'd take those mind altering drugs and who knows what they'd do.  Right?  Seen through the eyes of the time, this movie is definitely frightening.

Now, the acting isn't the best.  I'd say everyone is trying hard but only about half of them are really pulling it off.  Lucky for us, those who do pull their acting weight include most of the devil worshipers, the boy, his grandfather and his sister.  

Acting aside, there's one huge thing I have to complain about.

The soundtrack.

It is almost entirely made up of obnoxious, irritating noises.  Karen described it as taking a recording of a battery operated toy ray gun, looping that on itself and cranking it higher and higher depending on the amount of tension they were trying to portray.

It's pretty wretched.  Still, it's not worth skipping this one over.  You could do a lot worse than spending an hour and a half watching a bunch of rabid hippies lay waste to a small town.

I highly recommend this one and consider it the first movie of this whole experiment that is a clear-cut winner!  It's gross and low budget, but still... a winner.  You can actually find the entire movie for free on YouTube:

Next week, we'll delve into something a bit more classy... not a lot more though.  We have an image to keep around here.